


Without Him

by U_know_u_luv_me_99



Series: Missing You [2]
Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Drabble, Fluff, Lonliness, M/M, Regret, Sadness, just a short little story about sad astronauts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 12:01:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/U_know_u_luv_me_99/pseuds/U_know_u_luv_me_99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mark had a lot of time to think while he was on Mars, and he realised some startling things. Mainly, that he was in love, and hehadn't even noticed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without Him

**Author's Note:**

> Title from On My Own, in Les Miserables. For context, the full line is "Without him, I feel his arms around me".

While Mark was on Mars, he had a lot of time to think. He thought about Earth and his family, he thought abour his crew, but mostly he thought about Chris. Chris was technically crew and practically family, but to Mark he was so much more as well.

Mark hadn't realised how much Chris meant to him until Chris wasn't around. Mark had a lot of free time, what with being the only person on the planet, so even though he tried to keep himself busy, sometimes there just wasn't anything to do. At those times, Mark would sometimes begin to slip into depressing, self pitying thoughts. The first time he had felt it happening, he had begun to let it take over. He was about to give in, when suddenly he imagined Dr. Beck standing in front of him.

Chris wasn't a psychologist, and had no training in therapy, but he would often try and get the crew to talk to him like he was. He claimed it was for their mental health, but Mark was pretty sure he was just nosy. Still, he could use some nosy sometimes. Mark imagined Chris, coming up to him with his doctor voice and his doctor face, and telling him rather abruptly to grow the fuck up. Mark laughed at his imaginary Chris, and he hawled himself back up to check on his water systems. It was unnecessary, but it was better than wallowing.

Since then, Mark visited his imiginary Beck therapist quite often. He would have worried about going insane, but he was more concerned with not getting overwhelmed than he was with not hallucinating. It wasa tough line to walk on, but he managed. Most of the time.

Sometimes, however, his therapist was the cause of his despair. Talking to Chris about his problems often led to talking to Chris about Chris. He hadn't realised he was doing it until one sol when he found himself close to tears because his fake Beck had been a bit too convincing. Soon, he was spilling his guts about everything he had ever felt, and everything he had kept hidden, and it was the best and worst decision, because Beck responded. Beck kissed him, and told him he loved him. And Mark realised he was probably insane if he was spending his time on Earth imagining fake kisses with someone he's probably never see again. Great.

 

Check me out on [tumblr](u-know-u-luv-me.tumblr.com), and check out my [writing blog.](http://fairytalesoftheworld.weebly.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's so short. It's just a small drabble. I might expand this series if there's any interest.  
> Check me out on [tumblr](http://u-know-u-luv-me.tumblr.com/), and check my [writing](http://madoulgeris.weebly.com/) [blogs](http://fairytalesoftheworld.weebly.com/).


End file.
